Ironic? Of course not.

I couldn’t have done it without you
When we upped our family birthrate
Number two was on their way
And really, you were great

It’s not as if it was new for you
You’d seen it all before
Or been there I should say
As then you focused on the floor

This time you came nearer
‘Up here by your head is best,
I’ll tell you what’s going on
Now you just try and rest’.

‘Rest! I’m in pain you fool.’
A contraction made me shout
‘All right, all right, no need to yell
And that’s my thumb you’re pulling out’.

You slapped cold flannels on my face
And stroked my back too hard
Then told me when to breathe…
I swear next time you’re barred

When I was starving afterwards
You took the toast right off my plate
Oh, who cares  about hunger
Really, you were great.

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