Oh Donald Trump

Remember the one I wrote when he was first elected? I had to add another one.


It’s the first week of the year and the nonsense has begun
Trump is boasting his button is bigger than Kim Jong Un’s

This is a stable genius who’s very, very smart
Aren’t we glad he’s President so the world can fall apart

Let’s hope he gets impeached and is sent back to Trump Tower
Because it’s quite scary when a lunatic’s in power


Happy New Year

This blog is devoted to personal poems and opinions. I’ve covered abuse, mental health, daughters on social media, the ignorant rich, pressure on women’s looks, terrorism….

Thank you to everyone who has liked a poem or got in contact with me after reading one.

For cards, poems and speeches go to the Produced4you website: https://produced4you.co.uk

or the Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Produced4you

You can also get in touch with me via my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/produced4you

Happy New Year!

logo for cards jpg

What if…

there were no Christmas


What if there were no Christmas
Except in the Christian sense
A service in church that’s all
The changes would be immense

How much money would you save
And think of the time spent too
Buying all those cards and gifts
Just before the sales are due

And what about the worry
Will everyone have good fun
Will Uncle Frank be too pissed
Or the turkey overdone

All those with other beliefs
And those who are on their own
Wouldn’t feel quite so left out
That they are just home alone

No trees in lots of windows
No tinsel or twinkly lights
No tacky signs and snowmen
Just normal, everyday sights

No over-excited kids
Ripping wrapping paper off
Disappointed with their gifts
Then the family fights kick off

Instead it would be peaceful
You could watch a DVD
Don’t wait for that speech at three
Or the usual crap TV

No New Year greeting of debt
No extra pounds you must lose
No broken toys discarded
Nothing but the winter blues


Such a shame

On you

I haven’t heard from anyone
Not a visit nor a call

I can tell from years of silence
No one cares at all

What happened to communities
When people looked after the weak

They took in food for those unwell
Instead of treating them like freaks

Hey! At last! Nice of you to come
And there’s my family ahead!

Sorry if I’m a little numb
See, that’s what happens when you’re dead

High Anxiety

A mum’s view


Sometimes he thinks it would be easier if he were dead
No more OCD, anxiety, no more dread
Imagine being too scared to open your own front door
So many times he cries, ‘I can’t take it any more’
Thoughts keep him up all night, in the day he stays in bed
No school, no job, no going out, living in his head
It all comes down to worrying ‘What if I am sick’
Can’t say the word though, calls it ‘ill’ using a mind trick
He limits himself to four ‘safe’ foods in tiny bites
So tired and weak from all the mental battles he fights
His heart races all the time; panic rising so high
My poor boy suffers alone, as others’ lives go by


After a bereavement


We can’t stop your tears from falling
But we’ll pass the tissues you need

We can’t know what you are feeling
But please know that we’re taking heed

We don’t always know what to say
But we’re still thinking of your loss

We may bring food for you to eat
But tell us if it makes you cross

We’re not sure how long you will grieve
But we’re there as long as it takes

We don’t know if you want to talk
But we’ll listen to your heartaches

We hope you’ll learn to bear your pain
But we’ll always be there for you

We’re so sad that your baby died
But know your strength will pull you through

Tell your friend

You’re the best


You’re pleased if I have some success
You calm me if I’m under stress

You never judge the things I do
You’ll shop with me for hours for shoes

You and I can laugh until we cry
You’d never let my secrets fly

You wouldn’t ever be unkind
You let me rant and never mind

You’re loyal and stick up for me
You know if I need a hug and tea

You stick around when things get tough
You’ve seen me looking really rough

You’re always, always there for me
The greatest friend that there could be

Good Advice

Or Bad Influence


Work really hard at school so you get a good career
(Though leaving early didn’t hurt Diaz, Depp or Gere)

Settle down with a sensible man when you get wed
(Or maybe choose one who’s gorgeous, fun and good in bed)

Don’t be a bridezilla and spend a whole wad of cash
(Still, shouldn’t your Big Day be a monumental bash?)

Please don’t go rushing into having a little one
(Mind you, it’s easier the younger you get it done)

Never spend a load of money that you haven’t got
(Though you can’t take it with you and banks do have a lot)

Be kind and generous and friendly to all around
(Then again don’t forget that others will let you down)

So I’ve covered everything and now you know the score
I’ll be here for advice if you think you need some more

Cats are magic

For cat lovers:


You like the way they look at you
With their long stares into your eyes
You love the way they snuggle in
And couldn’t get closer if they tried

You laugh how they chase their shadow
Or a torch light around the wall
You’re stunned how they squeeze through a space
Yet can stretch themselves up so tall

You’re calmed and soothed by stroking them
Their fur so velvety and soft
You’re charmed by how they jump so high
Then look down haughty from aloft

You don’t mind when they tread on you
To find the right spot on your lap
You are happy to hear them purr
So contented before a nap

You admire how they clean themselves
Better than any yoga pro
You accept their food fussiness
And how they like to come and go

You’re used to hairs on everything
And the scratched furniture as well
They knock things over then walk out
Cats. Your cat. You’re under the spell

To my bride

Requested by a romantic groom:

I thought you looked gruesome when we first met
It certainly wasn’t love at first sight
I was a soldier and you were a bear
It was a fancy dress party that night

You saw me and I caught you as you swooned
Ok, you fainted as you got too hot
But I did fetch you a glass of water
Then stayed by your side and talked quite a lot

We’ve hardly been apart ever since then
And when you’re not there, I’m thinking of you
I don’t have to ask ‘am I in love?’
There’s no doubt that what I’m feeling is true

I just adore everything about you
You are my best friend, my lover, my life
I don’t want to be with anyone else
I’m so happy today you’ll be my wife

It’s all fake

About the pressure on women, mostly, to look good…

‘Oh no! I’ve got some wrinkles’
‘That’s not a problem now
A little bit of Botox
But no movement of your brow’

‘I can’t move my eyebrows?’
‘No you can’t be surprised
But you’ll look smooth and young
And these days that’s what’s prized’

‘Oh no! my boobs are sagging’
‘Three kids and all breastfed?
Don’t you be worrying
You’ll get nipples to point ahead’

‘Isn’t it expensive?’
‘Never mind, you can pay it up
But it’s worth it, don’t you think
Droopy boobs to a full G cup?’

Aagh! My teeth are yellow’
‘And chipped a little too
And I see silver fillings
There’s a lot you need to do’

‘Is it really worth it?’
‘Are you mad, my dear, of course
Unless you want to be put out
Like a knackered old race horse’

My husband wouldn’t do that’
‘But look at your thinning hair
It makes you look much older
Six hours in the swivel chair’

‘But what takes that much time?’
‘Extensions! They’re everywhere
There’s nobody on TV
Who still has natural hair”

‘Wow! I can’t believe the difference’
‘Yes but before you say amen
You should lose at least two stones
Size four is the new size ten’

‘But I couldn’t give up chocolate’
‘Don’t you worry about that
The personal trainer/dietician
Will make sure you’re never fat’

‘Oh no! My husband’s left me’
‘Well he can’t have been very nice
Now you’re really amazing
Before men didn’t look twice’

He says I look like Barbie
I’m not the women he knew
And now I owe thousands
I don’t know what to do.

Everyone’s so perfect
In magazines and on TV
I should have thanked Mother Nature
For making me like me.’

As it’s ME Awareness Week…

It’s a living hell

I’m lazy they say
It’s all in the mind
It’s just that I’m not really trying
I’d like to get up
I’d like to go out
I’m too tired to even be crying

It takes all my strength
To get to the loo
Although they think I should be at school
To get some fresh air
To still have a friend
Wouldn’t that make my life just so cool

If I go downstairs
Or even get washed
These are times when I’ve really done well
I pay for it though
The following day
When my muscles and bones ache like hell

Yes I look ok
I talk, even laugh
But with this illness, symptoms aren’t seen
My mind is just mush
Words come out all wrong
I’m nothing. Just a broken machine

It’s been four years now
I’m sixteen you know
All you go through in that time has gone
The doctor told me
There’s no cure for this
There’s a chance it’ll go on and on…

If you have ME
Then your suffering
Is the same size as dying of AIDS
Except that for me
It won’t end in death
I could feel just as bad for decades

Thank you Mr Osborne

It’s alright for the privileged few…


I’m alright Jack. It’s all about me
Out of work? Lazy! Don’t you agree?

Benefit sanctions are working well
So a few kill themselves. What the hell.

Less pressure then on the NHS
Costs down and targets met, that’s success

Found dead. Ex-squaddie. Diabetic.
No food to eat and no electrics

Couldn’t store insulin in the fridge
We didn’t study that at Oxbridge

To be disabled – what does it mean?
Only no arms nor legs to be seen

Everyone else is trying it on
Test them with PIPS and you’ll see they’re cons

We shouldn’t pay tax to help such scum
We must stay rich, keep all our income

No, I’ve never been down on my luck
In any case, I don’t give a fuck

Be prepared

For anything

You never know what’s round the corner
You could be a winner; you might be a mourner

Just when life couldn’t be much better
Well that’s when you get a redundancy letter

You think you’ll always be on your own
Then love suddenly blossoms with someone you’ve known

Don’t believe me? I can’t say I care
As I know that change can come out of nowhere

I once was a healthy, working mum
Then like a house with subsidence my spine turned to crumbs

What’s certain in life isn’t that strange
We’re born and we die, and in the meantime there’s change

It’s time to say ‘President Trump’

Oh what have you done?


Who would have thought we’d see this day
When the new President of the USA
Is mostly famed for his toupee

He’s known for other things of course
Vile racism with no remorse
And spouting nonsense til he’s hoarse

He has to send thousands of tweets
Is off the scale with his conceit
Denies all tax and vote deceit

Talking of women he’s so crude
To many he’s been really rude
His take on life totally skewed

Good luck to you all in the States
But if you want to emigrate
The UK’s not much better, mate