On Mumsnet

A poem about Mumsnet

Talk about anything you want
On Mumsnet nothing’s taboo.
But it’s not cool to send hugs and kisses
Wine emojis will do.

Don’t expect everyone to agree with you
There are some feisty people on there
Especially on AIBU (am I being unreasonable?)
Ask a daft question if you dare.

Learn all the acronyms or you’ll be lost
DC (dear children), DH (dear husband), IYKWIM (if you know what I mean)
And in Relationships
LTB (leave the bastard) is just routine.

That’s where you may find some sicko trolls
Who make up a sad mishap
Posters give sympathy, advice and open up
Then find it was a load of crap.

You’ll find the best user names ever
EatShitDerek, AtYourCervix and SirChenjin
And in Classics people say pmsl (pissed myself laughing)
which eases all their tension.

They hate some celebs and the Daily Fail
And on some topics they’re unjust
But on the whole discussion
Is intelligent and robust.

You can talk about anything at all
From baby names to the news
And there are answers to every problem
From boyfriends to blocked loos.

This isn’t nicey Netmums
There’s a feckin load of swearing
But if you have any kind of trouble
You won’t find women as caring.